Reading Reaction Unit Four

It's a classic story of a broken heart: I was in love but had to stop seeing him for reasons beyond my control. Drug addiction played the biggest factor in this scenario. I had quit talking to him for a couple of weeks because I needed to clear my head. Was me staying clean more important then this relationship? Could I get him to stop? He had to do it for himself. After about three weeks he hooked up with another women. "Did he not love me ...... ?" Stop! Sit back and realize what you are thinking, it's not all about you. It is about the drugs! Steps I take during these times are talk to friends, see my counselor, call my sponsor, go to a meeting, or simply sit down and meditate. Take life one day at a time. "It's o.k to love yourself," is what I say to myself as much as possible. Consequently, this relationship has come full circle, and he is working on himself and staying clean.

Finals

What is the best way to study for a final? I believe the best way to study for a final starts by, organizing all your homework, quizzes, and exams. For instance, in my math class we have had eight quizzes, three exams, and roughly fifty homework assignments. I have started gathering, and sorting through all of this paperwork. My instructor has informed me that; consequently, every question on the final comes off the exams. We have been assigned a ton of review questions, so I figure if work and study these problems I should get a good grade. Since I am on academic probation, I need to get a good grade in this class to bring my G.P.A up. Studying for finals might be stressful; moreover, if you are organized things should go well.

Summer plans

While summer is deffinately not my favorite time of the year, my plans should make up for what I don't like. My children spend most of the summer with their dad in Grass Valley, that will give me a chance to catch up with myself. I become the fun parent, and Brandon becomes the boring displinary parent during the summer. Since I am not in school, I have to pick up more hours at my job to make ends meet. In addition, to making ends meet I also get extra money to do fun things with the boys. This summer is going to be the time for a lot of our family firsts. I plan to take the boys camping; in addition, to getting season passes to the water park in Sacramento. While the boys are gone, I plan to work on my core issues. I want to take a parenting teens class since I struggle with my parenting. Although summer is not my favorite, I plan to make the best out of the time I have.

Fear

What are you most afraid of? What do you do to deal with this fear? As an addict the thing I am most afraid of is going back out. Doing drugs for 12 years and being clean for 2 years, I have learned so many different things in life. I have learned to alienate my children, friends and family. It took along time to gain the trust back from my children and family. I have also learned to make better choices in friends. Everyone has a choice in life with their decisions. Today I make the healthiest choices for myself and for my boys. The thing I do to deal with this fear is take things one day at a time!

Hometown

What do you like about your hometown? What things would you change? I was born in Sacramento, but grew up in a town in Southern California called Poway. The thing I liked best about living in Poway was that it was only a half hour away from the beach. When I was growing up down there you could ride your bike from one end of town to the other in 1/2 hour. Those are the things I liked best. The thing I would change is the growth in population, therefore the growth in the housing developments. Poway was a town now turned into a city. I have not been there in many years but I still beleive that it would be worth visiting.

Volunteer

If I had to volunteer. Where would it be? What would I do? Why? I would like to volunteer in a hospital. As a volunteer in a hospital I would get the chance to do work in different areas. I would like the chance to work in pediatrics, because I would like the chance to see babies born. I had two c-sections, so I would like to see a natural birth. I would also like to watch a variety of surgeries. I believe that would be interesting. Most of all I would like a chance to volunteer in the emergency room. The fast paced work environment, to the variety of injuries, to the simple cold would just be fascinating to me. I would like to be a nurse someday so volunteering in a hospital would be a great opportunity for me.

Difficult decision

Describe a time when I had to make a difficult decision. What did you do? How did you choose?
My difficult decision was in the year 2000. I was living off and on with Brandon (kids dad), and was just not feeling anything for him anymore. He had been someone I had been with for nine years. I had two wonderfully handsome boys with him. I started my relationship with Brandon fresh out of high school. We had drug, alcohol, and lots of physical abuse. We lived in Marysville; Brandon was drunk ready to fight anyone who got in his way. I don't remember exactly what I had said, but Brandon for some reason just started hitting me in the head. A well built 17 year kid who had lived next door heard what was going on and busted down the door to stop Brandon. They started fighting, Brandon picked up a pipe wrench and hit the boy in the head with it. The cops came Brandon went to jail, and I thought it was over forever. Brandon got out of jail, and moved to the bay area and was doing well. I fell on hard times, the only thing I thought I could do was to live with Brandon once again. We lived in motels, hardly had anything to eat and the beating did not stop. One day Brandon was at work it was after an evening of chaos; that was when I decided to leave forever. I moved to Gridley with a friend that offered me a safe place to stay. I never returned. It felt good to get my children and I out of the abuse.

Reading Reaction 3 "The War Within"

March 2005 cops everywhere, they were bombarding me, my house, and my children. What did they want? I knew just didn't want to believe. They were asking questions, and throwing out accusations. Their mouths were moving but nothing was coming out, at least I was not listening anymore. I had a realization, I was in big trouble. That was the night I was saying goodbye to many important things in my life. I was saying bye to my house, my friends, my dreams and my children; as a result, of my drug addiction. Jacob leaving with Child Protective Services with a look of relief on his face says, "now you will get the help you need mom!" Was he right? Would everything be o.k.? This was my moment of clarity. I knew giving up drugs; in fact, would be the main factor in my children returning home to me. It was going to be a struggle; nevertheless, it had to be done. Saying goodbye is hard to do; on the other hand, saying "hello" is so rewarding.

Reading Reaction Unit 2

Feeling insignificant is a feeling that is hard to overcome. For a woman of 33, life should be at the better end of the term! Many years behind, but many ahead. Starting school again, being overweight, and single struggling mom of two very energetic boys is hard. Feeling physically unattractive was a state of mind for me on a daily basis. Growing up I have always found myself on the heavy side, as I get older the weight just keeps packing on. Although being on the heavy side my twenties were alright. Now that I have reached my thirties men are taking a different approach to me. Well in all realization no approach at all! Beneath the weight is a good person waiting to shine in the eyes of another. To overcome the feeling of insignificance I decided, that if nobody wants me for who I am or who I can be then I don't need them.

My dream vacation

Where would i go on my dream vacation? What would I do?

On my dream vacation I would love to go on a 14 day trip to the Bahamas. I would like to start by ship and end by plane. I would like to be at a resort on an island with the person I loved. I would like to sit on the beach in a comfortable chair, with a radio next to me, reading a good book, getting a nice tan. I would like to be inside at night with the one I loved watching good movies or just holding each other in the silence. I think the Bahamas would be a great place to go in the winter months or really all year round. If I could go anywhere that's where it would be.

To be remembered------

To be remembered....... Everything that I would like to be remembered as would be the nicest things people would say about me. That I was a nice young soul, a great mother of two wonderful boys, I was strong in my recovery, I was a great daughter and a good friend to all that knew me. I would like people to say that I was working really hard to make my life better for myself and my children. I started my life over at 32 and have been moving froward ever since. That I was attending school and working part time while taking care of my two boys. That is how I would like to be remembered.

What will life be like in 20 yrs?

In my opinion life in 20 years will be a little different then today. I beleive people will be just as selfish. Through the years people have been out for themselves and I beleive it will get worse. The world will be all about how much money you make. Cost of living will keep drastically increasing and the rate of pay might increase but not enough. The world is seeing the prices of oil and energy go up so the one thing that is happening is, cars are being made to save and solar power is the thing of the future.
In 20 years I will probably be working as ahrd as I am now, making a little more money, but barely floating above the water. I am working towards something now but I am not sure yet what that something is. So in years to come I will be getting older trying to make it in the world.

World change.

How has the world changed since I was a child? Are the changes good or bad? In my opinion the world is going to shit. The war that the president has engaged our country in is ridiculous. It is costing lots of innocent lives and money. In this day in society people have become more selfish then ever. It's not all about what can I do for my fellow human it's how much more money can I make to be better then you. Times in the old days might have been hard but at least everyone cared about one another and not just themselves. Soceity is making it where people can not hardly make it out there. The cost of living has gone up but the wages are staying the same. More men would rather be on welfare then go out and work for a living. The children these days are getting more out of hand then ever. I wish the world would just stop and step back and take a look at what it has become!

A childhood memory!

My favorite childhood memory, goes back many years ago. I was four years old, and we were visiting my grandparents in Elizabeth town, Illinois. They lived in a two bedroom house on 8 acres. On this 8 acres they had what you would call a mini farm. They had a horse, 2 cows, 5 rabbits, pigs, and a lot of chickens.
On the second morning of our visit, I remember waking up before anyone else to go outside to see all the animals. I was fascinated with country life. I came from a big city in California. I went outside, across the pasture, under the wooden fence to where the rabbits were. I was putting my fingers in the cage and one of the rabbits bit me. I was angry at this rabbit and did what any child my age would do I bit the rabbit back! After this incident the rabbits were no fun anymore. I walked over to where the pigs were, and some how managed to get myself in the pig pen. I remember there had to be at least 3 mama pigs each having baby pigs. It was fun in the pig pen. I loved playing in mud, but then I began to think that the pigs did not smell very good. I had a thought, so I went back to the house, and very quietly snuck inside the bathroom and got some air freshener. At this time, I went back outside across the pasture, under the wooden fence, and back into the pig pen. I began spraying the freshener around the pigs hoping the smell would go away. I used the whole can but the smell was still there. "Jill" my dad yelled very loudly with a frantic voice. "Get out of the pig pen right now". I got out wondering why my dad sounded so scared. What did I do wrong? "I was just trying to make it smell better for the animals," I said.
My dad carried me back under the wooden fence, across the pasture, into the house. After getting a bath, all the adults sat down with me and explained, how dangerous it was for me to be in that pig pen with the mama's and their babies spraying air freshener. After that day I never went down to see the animals alone again.

Goal for the semester.

My goals for this semester is to be able to read and write proper english. I hope to get good grades so i raise my G.P.A.. I'm taking english 217, math 108, and a walking for fitness. I hope that won't be to overwhelmed this semester. I attend school Mon. Wed. and Fri., Tues. and Thurs. I have other commitments and I work as a CNA at a convelecent hospital on the weekends. I hope that this semester goes well for me.

Reading Reaction Unit One

I believe Daniel Meier enjoys his work mainly because he enjoys kids. He explains in his story that his day is dominated by six-year-olds. He would rather spend a day listening to children's knock-knock jokes than have idle chit-chat with a fellow adult. He enjoys children snack time as well as bandaging cuts, drying tears or locating a long-lost boot. His energy is spent encouraging, supporting, consoling and praising children. In teaching Daniel explains, that the inner rewards come from without. Daniel knows that teaching is not going to make him a millionaire, but it is going to give him the satisfaction he wants in life.

Describe a "perfect weather" day.

A perfect weather day for me is about 72 degrees with a mild wind. On a day like this I would go to the park to have a picnic with my children. Sit on a bench and watch them play on the playground. Start up a barbecue and cook some steaks, have some macaroni salad and a few slices of watermelon. Enjoy the time I have to be alive and rain free.

Describe someone close?

A person I am close to is a friend of mine named Debbie. I've known Debbie for about seven years. Debbie is a woman who has a lot of heart. She helps people when in need without asking for anything in return. When I went to jail, she bailed me out and paid a monthly payment of $50o.
What I admire most about her is the hard work to keep her family together. Her mom is 79 and is in her final stage of Alzheimer's. Her brother is 35 and has cerebral palsy. Her husband is an alcoholic in and out of prison, and her children who are adults have there set of own issues. She takes care of her mom, brother and sister and she never complains. She is very dedicated to her family and friends. She is a kind gentle loving sole and i am grateful for having her in my life.

Definition of Love

What is my definition of love? Love is something you feel for another person. There is different loves. Love for your children, parents, grandparents and family in general. Love for friends and love for lovers. The love for my children is unconditional and comes with no price. Love can be hurtful and love can be special. I have loved plenty of people but am in love with only one person. That person has hurt my heart very badly but my love for him has not died. I have a few close friends that I love a lot. Love is something that I hope to have in my heart and in my life for along time.

What is worth fighting for?

There are many things in my life worth fighting for. The most important fight is for my two children Jacob and Josh. I am very familiar with this fight. I had to fight for 6 months to get them back in my home, after I had lost them to C.P.S. because of my drug addiction. Some people would be ashamed to talk about this. In my life it is not shame it is reality. Drugs became a big part of my life and I lost site on what was important. We have lived as a family again since August 2005, our case closed with C.P.S. in February 2006. Jacob and Josh were worth the fight.