Fear

What are you most afraid of? What do you do to deal with this fear? As an addict the thing I am most afraid of is going back out. Doing drugs for 12 years and being clean for 2 years, I have learned so many different things in life. I have learned to alienate my children, friends and family. It took along time to gain the trust back from my children and family. I have also learned to make better choices in friends. Everyone has a choice in life with their decisions. Today I make the healthiest choices for myself and for my boys. The thing I do to deal with this fear is take things one day at a time!

Hometown

What do you like about your hometown? What things would you change? I was born in Sacramento, but grew up in a town in Southern California called Poway. The thing I liked best about living in Poway was that it was only a half hour away from the beach. When I was growing up down there you could ride your bike from one end of town to the other in 1/2 hour. Those are the things I liked best. The thing I would change is the growth in population, therefore the growth in the housing developments. Poway was a town now turned into a city. I have not been there in many years but I still beleive that it would be worth visiting.

Volunteer

If I had to volunteer. Where would it be? What would I do? Why? I would like to volunteer in a hospital. As a volunteer in a hospital I would get the chance to do work in different areas. I would like the chance to work in pediatrics, because I would like the chance to see babies born. I had two c-sections, so I would like to see a natural birth. I would also like to watch a variety of surgeries. I believe that would be interesting. Most of all I would like a chance to volunteer in the emergency room. The fast paced work environment, to the variety of injuries, to the simple cold would just be fascinating to me. I would like to be a nurse someday so volunteering in a hospital would be a great opportunity for me.

Difficult decision

Describe a time when I had to make a difficult decision. What did you do? How did you choose?
My difficult decision was in the year 2000. I was living off and on with Brandon (kids dad), and was just not feeling anything for him anymore. He had been someone I had been with for nine years. I had two wonderfully handsome boys with him. I started my relationship with Brandon fresh out of high school. We had drug, alcohol, and lots of physical abuse. We lived in Marysville; Brandon was drunk ready to fight anyone who got in his way. I don't remember exactly what I had said, but Brandon for some reason just started hitting me in the head. A well built 17 year kid who had lived next door heard what was going on and busted down the door to stop Brandon. They started fighting, Brandon picked up a pipe wrench and hit the boy in the head with it. The cops came Brandon went to jail, and I thought it was over forever. Brandon got out of jail, and moved to the bay area and was doing well. I fell on hard times, the only thing I thought I could do was to live with Brandon once again. We lived in motels, hardly had anything to eat and the beating did not stop. One day Brandon was at work it was after an evening of chaos; that was when I decided to leave forever. I moved to Gridley with a friend that offered me a safe place to stay. I never returned. It felt good to get my children and I out of the abuse.